C. Rich

(via hustlegrl, -lalalove)

i used to be able to write what i was feeling fairly easy with out any cares about how it looked or sounded. it feels like poetry, or outside sources of expression have become foreign to me. i opened this note with the intent of writing something awesome. maybe that’s the problem, maybe i feel pressured to live up to a standard. everyone tells me that voice of reason was dope, haven’t found someone who doesn’t like the project yet. that’s a good thing right? 

i’ve lost people to my own selfishness recently. and i think that’s the thing that hurts the most, acknowledging my own flaws and faults. my best friend told me once he was excited to see me grow. i complain about being stagnant and I think i’m fighting change.

a week ago yesterday, i almost died. a friend and I spun 3 or 4 times across 2 lanes of 70mph highway traffic. we spun into a deep snow ditch. i wish His signs were easier to interpet. God is trying to tell me something. the obvious answer would be that i’m taking something for granted. either i was taking my job for granted or it simply wasn’t the place for me. some people think one thing, others think the other.  but that was taken away from me as well. 

i’m getting so much closer to my 24th birthday. I haven’t accomplished much on my 21 before 30 list. I should look at that again, and maybe make some revisions. 

1: live out of state
2: Get a Bachelors Degree in music
3: Move to New York Atlanta??
4: open and maintain a bank account for approximately 1 year (Bank Account Opened, work on maintenance)
5: Get a single on the charts (either by credit or my own)
6: Have a song played and added into full rotation on Power 92 and WGCI (of my own)
7: Acquire drivers license (Done)
8: Buy a car (Almost There)
9: Begin planning to open a Harold’s franchise
10: Lose 40 to 50 pounds and maintain that weight for approximately 1 year.
11: Fill in my right bicep and right side of my chest with ink, chronicling different things I value in life from age 21-30 (Started)
12: Live in Europe for 3-6 months
13: Learn spanish
14: Release first charted album
15: Have a child
16: Work with Terius The-Dream Nash
17: Have a hangover-esque weekend in vegas
18: Be nominated for a Grammy
19: Meet the President (or former President) Obama and have a conversation with him
20: Work with Ryan Leslie
21: open a fully functional recording studio
22: work towards buying a house